Learning Letter

I've always struggled finding out who I am as a person. 

I have spent the last 10 months trying to rebuild my life from the ground up, and this quarter helped me to do. 

This most likely isn't going to be the typical learning letter like most students will turn in. Of course, you are interested in what I learned as a future teacher or English/Language Arts, but I think what I learned as a person is far more beneficial. 

I stated that I was rebuilding my life from the ground up because I feel like I am. In May 2013, I ended my relationship to my fiancé of almost five years. By no means was it easy to let go of something that for five years, was all I knew. We became a pair, rather than a pair of individuals. All of my plans were centered around him and couldn't imagine planning anything without him. I slowly found myself forgetting how it was to be on my own. What made Jordan happy? What kind of movies did I like? What music did I like? What kind of toppings did I like on my pizza? We became one before I knew who I was. 

I find myself still partly grieving, though we have both moved on. I am only twenty one years old, but I feel the need to discover who I am right away. I know teaching is what I am supposed to do with my life but right now I am just not ready.

No one is expecting me to 100% ready, but I feel so deeply in my heart that right now is just not my time. The courses I took this quarter and the work we needed to do solidified that as well. No one is forcing me to teach full time after student teaching, but I feel like I am letting people down. I just feel like I need more experience, more living, under my belt to be the best teacher I can be for my future students.

I need to know what my personal style is before I know what my teaching style is. I need to better Jordan before I can better Ms. Lehman. This quarter truly showed me where I want to go in my life and for me, it has made all the difference. 

Poe and Alexie

ALEXIE:
I have had the privilege of reading Alexie's work in almost every English I have had during my college career. His work is often banned from schools because of the "inappropriate" material that they contain, but I think they are pure genius. I was so happy when I saw that an Alexie novel was on our reading list at the beginning of the quarter. I have only dabbled in his poetry, but a novel is just as good. I love that he is a local writer and his work hits home because of the proximity of them. Spokane is my stomping ground and I am so grateful to live in such a city.
The novel was a little intense. I found myself struggling to relate at first, but then made the little connections along the way. I could relate to being the new kid in school, the death of family, and the experience of having a crush on the popular kid in school. I just wanted the situation for Arnold to get better because he had experienced so much in his life already.
Although I love Alexie's personal story and his work, I probably wouldn't include this particular text in my classroom. I think it is a little too mature for the middle school level and it wouldn't exactly fit in the demographic of Horizon Middle School in Spokane Valley. I would recommend the students to read it on their own time for pleasure, but I wouldn't have it implemented in my class. I think there are other works by Alexie that would fit more appropriately.




POE:
I have always had a love for Poe and his mysterious ways. I remember reading "Tell Tale Heart" in eighth grade and becoming so fond of Poe and his works. "The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall" was strange. I always had a really hard time understanding this story, as I usually do with his works. I am excited to see what Paul does with this and how he goes through the story with the class. I am still trying to wrap my mind around the story. It was just so strange.